As I have said in other posts, much about conflict is a question of our heart’s response. There are times situations quickly become much worse simply by our response. I’m not trying to minimize the gravity of any situation, but let’s take a moment to step back and really evaluate the circumstances. This is just calling us to honest reflection, not discounting our emotional response but evaluating against the whole of the moment and how the moment fits into the larger picture.

With all this, we still haven’t addressed the truly significant aspect of the times when the other person is completely unresponsive no matter how much one commits to the relationships and properly looks at the situations and practices true servanthood. Honestly, this is where we balance human responsibility with the Lord’s working in another’s heart.

Part of loving God is knowing that our ways are not His. He chooses to work in ways that, at times, doesn’t make any sense, and yet, when we look back, all we can say is, “It was the work of His hand!” There will be times when relationships are strained and even severed, leaving much hurt and pain, and although God is not the author of sin, He remains active and faithful to His children and will bring each person through the difficult times. I can attest personally to that!

Although this is the end of this series, in the future we will look specifically at friendships and marriages and how the Lord is working amidst the pain and suffering of sin. We are all susceptible to the detrimental effects of sin. Today, let’s rejoice in knowing that the Lord is faithful and this world is not our home!

If you have any questions about this topic or would like to address something specific, please use the contact form to reach me.

When relationships on the brink of despair, I think it is important to remember a few things. First, there will always be pain when two people are in relationship with one another, even a friendship. It doesn’t take a marriage to understand how quickly two people can hurt one another. The sooner you realize this, the better you can respond when something happens the next time.

Secondly, I think the concept of relationships has been so misconstrued over the years. People no longer know their roles and responsibilities; individuals assume wrong responsibilities and have unwarranted expectations. We could spend several posts discussing the various facets and dynamics of relationships, but I just want to mention a couple of points.

Love is a feeling or an emotion. I think everyone will agree with that, but to limit it to that only diminishes its true value. At the heart of love is commitment. Wait! You mean when the “feeling” is gone love still calls me to stay?! Yes! Love calls to us to respond with the simple phrase, “I’m here.” Imagine how that will change relationships? When tough times come (and they will), to say, “I’m here” reaffirms that commitment and says, “Although we are going through very difficult times, and we have been in this place for a long time, I can rest knowing you will always be here.”

Think about when love is just a feeling. When the feeling is gone divorce occurs and friendships broken, leaving people, individuals and/or families to suffer. Love, when reduced to a feeling, is not love in the true sense of the word; it is a convenience. “I will love you as long as it is convenient for me.”

Lastly, but definitely not the last thing we can say, we need to know our responsibilities in relationships, what is not our responsibility, and how we should respond amidst the pain of turmoil. We have a responsibility to love another person unconditionally. That doesn’t mean we are to take everything from the other person. Rather, we have to discern what is valid and right and what is a reflection of other’s sinful nature. That requires us to do the same within ourselves. We can’t always think we are right, and we can’t constantly blame the other person.

We are not responsible when the relationship turns physically abusive. It is never right to hit another person for any reason. Love does not call us to do that.

Love does not calls us to be verbally abusive. I’m not talking about verbal confrontations, heated discussions (although they can turn for the worse quickly); I’m talking about the type of language that is degrading and a direct attack upon the person. It’s when one person attempts to dominate the conversation with strong and hurtful words. All this can include men and women.

In the next post and final post, we will look at what it means to truly trust in the Lord. Up to this point, we haven’t looked at what it means to love as God loves us. What does it look like to live as God’s redeemed children?