A dear friend approached me the other day and asked if I would write on the subject of homosexuality and the church. It’s a topic I have wanted to address here for quite some time but have also felt very intimidated to do so. This blog post comes after her earnest asking, knowing that my views and opinions are very different than her own and yet valuing those thoughts and opinions. I write this with much humility and thankfulness to have dear friends who will discuss very intimate and personal things openly with me. This post is for you!

First, I would like to say that I value the diversity of friendships I have and this post is not meant to sever those ties. It is intended to promote and encourage an open and healthy discussion on a very important and sensitive topic in our culture. I want this post and my blog to be a place of honest, thoughtful, and courteous dialogue.

Secondly, I think it is important for me to state, up front, that I don’t endorse homosexuality from a Christian, biblical perspective. For many, including my gay friends, this will not come as a surprise. For others, I sincerely hope this does not impact our friendship! One thing I never want to happen in a friendship is for a friend to hide part of themselves for fear that I will judge them. That’s neither my goal or purpose in cultivating friendships. I would want honesty to strongly characterize every relationship in my life.

Lastly, this is a difficult discussion for both the church and those outside the church for fear of what others will think. We are all whores who dance around in self-righteous hypocrisy while worshipping the idols of our own hearts. We don’t have any room to judge anyone; we have only room to examine our own hearts. Introspection is a dominant theme in the Bible. Judgement is for the Lord alone!

I want to first address the church. For those outside the church, I believe this will provide you a bit of insight. Many in the church fear the outside world for a variety of reasons, but I think the core problem is the fear of compromise. Why do I think this? That’s what I feared. I feared that having friendships with homosexuals and many others not like me meant that I was somehow embracing the morals and values contrary to those which I held so dearly. What I didn’t realize is that I had made an idol those morals and values! I wanted so badly to be right that I ostracized many potential friendships. I feel the church has the same fear. We have closed the doors to the world outside of the church out of fear, leaving only the self-righteous to minister to one another!

The outside world also has many fears about the church. Many fear they will not be accepted within the church or just want to seek people of “likemindedness”. Rather than coming to church and seeking people to befriend, who will encourage and even challenge them, many find friendships in other places that are not helpful, encouraging or edifying. To what extent will we go in the name of acceptance! Can you allow others not like yourself and who disagree with your lifestyle to love you knowing they won’t always get it right and understand you fully?

I think we, the body of Christ, should consider several things. First, do we acknowledge the power of the Holy Spirit, both in our own lives and lives of others? We are not called to persuade or convince people; we are called to love and present the truths of Scripture. Hearts change through a process completely unknown to us! We are merely the conduit through which the Lord conveys His truth. I think we need to remember that!

Part of loving people and allowing others to love you is that they will challenge us from time to time. It’s a good and appropriate thing! It’s detrimental when we challenge people with hatred and enmity in our hearts. “To each his own” is the worst phrase in the culture. If that was really true, we would truly be helpless and hopeless. We need each other and more so Christ; the sooner we get this, the sooner we can move on to the business at hand, which is engaging in thoughtful, loving dialogue seeking to encourage one another through the struggles of life!