With the rise of social media, I find the range of discussions interesting. While people talk about issues of privacy and intrusion as being some of the more detrimental qualities, I have to say that I don’t see many people talking about the positive nature of social media, particularly Facebook, or at least its ability to pinpoint problems in our current culture.
I believe social media found its way into our society through a problem that existed long before “thefacebook.com”, the lack of human interactions in our daily lives. We have become accustomed to an almost apathetic lifestyle when it comes to true friendships. When was the last time you heard the term “camaraderie” used? If you watch people and listen to their conversations (not in a creepish way), I think one would find minimal discussions about important matters such as current struggles, whether in money, marriage, profession, etc. – real issues of the heart. For the most part, we have become adept to keeping people at arm’s length.
What Facebook and other social media sites have demonstrated is a humanity crying out for someone to care! How many times have you posted or seen posts where someone is bearing their hearts before “friends”? I think we all want someone to listen and hear us. Isn’t that the point of social media?!
I think there are a couple of things we can do to really change social media from a 140 character “update” to lasting relationships. First, Facebook and others have done really well to connect us, but don’t take them too seriously. If you really want to reach out to someone in particular, take the time to send a direct message or ask for another mode of contact. I have asked for people’s mailing address on several occasions just to send a letter.
Secondly, use social media to connect with people, not to build relationships. In other words, don’t let it replace face to face interactions. That means you, including myself, will have to limit the amount of time on the internet and even schedule time to build lasting relationships with people. What made Starbucks such a huge success was the company’s focus on building local community. Some of my fondest conversations have been over a cup of coffee or sitting on a bar stool.
Lastly, I believe it’s human nature is to keep people at bay. We fear many things when is comes to building deep, lasting relationships. What if I don’t measure up to their expectation? Worse, what if they don’t measure up to mine? Will that person hurt me? Will the relationship become boring; can we keep it thriving and growing? These are just a couple of issues when it comes to relationships.
However, if we are going to love people and allow them to love us, then we must seek out people and be open, knowing that pain is a part of intimate relationships. There have been times in my life where very dear friendships have felt incredibly strained, even to the point of asking why continue them! I’m thankful we did. They came through the fire of turmoil triumphantly!
Social media, at best, points to the problems that existed long before it became one of the most lucrative markets in American history. God designed us for relationships, caring and loving one another, especially during times of pain and suffering. Let’s not waste more time building “pseudo” relationships that require no real energy or commitment and start cultivating relationships that will last a lifetime.
